Runs with Scissors

     I tried the Runs with Scissors Ultra today....there was a half marathon, marathon, and 50K ultra.  I had signed up for the Ultra.  It was not my day, as I am a wimp and the weather was abominable.  After 3 1/2 hours of sleet, rain, snow and ankle-deep mud, I called it a day after finishing the half.  I was soaked, freezing, and had squishy shoes filled with mud and grit.  It was no longer fun, even though the weather started to clear at that point. Discretion being the better part of valor, right? I called it.
     I almost didn't even start, getting very lost in the dark and rain at 4:30 in the morning due to I76 construction and detours. I was late, cold, and it was sleeting.  But I remembered Do Not Finish always trumps Do Not Start.  And I did finish....just not the distance I was hoping for.
     I did get a nice medal, beer glass, and cap. After a 2 hour soak in a very hot tub, I am finally starting to warm up, too.  Maybe next year....There's always next year. It was a well organized and supported race, which I recommend. You just cannot count on Colorado weather.

      He Runs With Scissors

                  When I was a little kid, I colored outside the lines.
                  My teacher didn't like it, she didn't think that it was fine.
                  She knew I'd come to no good, she said that I was bad.
                  So when they met the first time she told my mom and dad,

                  “He runs with scissors, he eats paste and chalk,
                  And when I try to teach the class, all he does is talk, talk, talk,
                  He plays with his food, but doesn't play well with others,
                  And if you're not careful he might grow up to be a long distance runner.”

                  As I grew it just got worse, I picked fights almost weekly,
                  I drove too fast and drank too much, I didn't live my life meekly.
                  I stayed out late, I ran around, and made trouble with my brother.
                  It's no big shock, there was a talk between my teacher, dad, and mother,

                  “He runs with scissors, he eats paste and chalk,
                  And when I try to teach the class, all he does is talk and talk,
                  He plays with his food, but doesn't play well with others,
                  And if you're not careful he might grow up to be a long distance runner.”

                  I run with scissors, I write bad checks,
                  And when I do things I don't consider what might just happen next,
                  I love a food fight and skinny dipping in summer,
                  And teacher was right, I grew up to be a long distance runner.